What would your cat...

“How to vanquish as stalkerish dog”
“How to open the front door”
“How to feed myself”
“How to get more lovins”
“How to get less lovins”
“How to get my owner a raise so I can eat more”
“How to get my owner to think my hissing is scary, not adorable”
“How to make the most of a sunny square in the rug”
I think I covered most of them :D